The Perfect Family Photo

Ever since Baby Allie joined our family over a year ago, I have been desperate to get the perfect picture of our completed family.  I have scheduled at least four different sessions with the dream of getting that one frameable photo I can admire for the rest of my life.

Every holiday, birthday, or special event, I dream of what outifts we are all going to be wearing when we finally get the perfect family photo.  I shop diligently to find the kids matching clothes and something I can wear to subtly coordinate. (Like it totally wasn't planned.) 

Really sweet, hardworking photographers have tried to help me accomplish this life long dream, but even their talent and professional equiptment cannot force all four our my family members to look at the camera and smile at the same time.  Even our Christmas card featured two seperate pictures of our children because we could not get a picture of them together that was Christmas card worthy.  (An admittedly very high standard.)

You would think the most obvious problem would be getting the baby to smile and look in the right direction.  While this is indeed tricky, I have two bigger problems.

The first one is getting this little guy to stay in the same place.  Additionally, when the camera comes out, Luke makes bizarre faces I have never even seen.  (see below)  He is trying to smile, but it is absolutely terrible.  The only way to make him truly laugh is to randomly shout a potty word, like 'fart' or 'poo poo.'  Yes, I have even gone down that desperate path, but it is very hard for the rest of us do look pretty while shouting "tootie, toot, toot". 

Luke 'smiles' for the camera.

The second major problem is getting this big guy to smile.

Hubby's true feelings about pictures are captured in this heartwarming Ryall classic.

We all know my husband is a trained killer.  He's not going to lose any street cred by smiling.  This expression has appropriately earned him the nickname 'Angry Jon' by his comrades.  And this isn't even his really mean face.  Try explaining this picture to your friends who have never met him.  "He really is a sweet guy.  This just isn't a good picture.  No really, he doesn't kick babies.  That's just his natural expression." 

Also, I am forbidden to dress the hubby for pictures, so his wardrobe is always a crap shoot.  This lack of control  stresses me out infinitely, which is probably why he does it.  (As you can see, I did choose his shirt in the above photo.  It was not a good day at the Ryall house.)

Where does this unhealthy need to have a perfect family photo come from?  There was an episode of Modern Family where Claire says she just wants to remember her children exactly as they are in that minute, which is probably true for most of you.  (And also a hilarious episode for my fellow control freak mommies.)

I, on the other hand, have a cynical belief that someone in my immediate family is going to die suddenly and we will never have a complete family picture.  While this may sound completely insane to some, I have had some pretty crazy experiences that have led me to this belief.  The day after my son was born, we discovered a brain hemmorage that caused seizures and apnea, and just over a year later my husband took an IED to the face in Afghanistan, causing brain injuries and about a billion other problems.  So, from where I have been sitting, we need to get this picture pronto before someone has an aneurysm. 

The bottom line is I will never have a pefect family photo unless I get a new family.......and I would never do that.  Maybe it's time to live in the moment rather than try to capture the moment.

I am actually holding Allie's arm because she just punched me in the face. 
That is why Jon is smiling.  And Luke....well, say 'cheeeese!!!!

I would love to see your favorite family photos!

PS - The inspiration for this piece was actually a photo session from last summer.  It was the worst group of pictures I have ever seen.  We went to a 'studio' which shall rename nameless and did not purchase a single picture.  We couldn't have taken worse pictures if we had said, "Ok.  Everyone make the worst face you can think of."  The poses were sooo awkward and Luke actually looked like he was being strangled in one.  The pictures were removed from their website a while back and I am wishing I had purchased them just for the laughs they provided.  I did contact the company, so if they really still exist in cyberspace I am looking forward to posting them.