January 23, 2011

Dear Mom Jeans,

I owe you an apology.  Before I had kids, I made fun of you, mom jeans.  I heartlessly considered the women who wore you to be out of date, out of style and downright fashion disasters.  I had such cruel thoughts when your wearers passed. 

Mom jeans, I vowed that you and I would never become friends.  I vowed that I no matter how bad the scars of pregnancy left my body, I would never stoop to your level.  

Mom jeans, please accept my most humble apology.  I am so sorry that I ever dissed you.  Now I know that you are the greatest piece of women's clothing ever constructed.

Your stretchy front panel keeps my muffin top so tightly flattened.  Your super high waist and long zipper create the illusion of a smooth surface all the way up to my chest. 

Mom jeans, you are always affordable.  Please don't ever cross over to the dark side of corporate America and raise your prices.  We need you.  We need you to raise our sagging bottoms and tighten our thighs. 

Now I understand why you are the top choice of moms all over America.   I will always be faithful.  Please forgive me.  If I could only choose one article of women's clothing to keep for the rest of my life, it would be you.

Love,
Stephanie

2 comments:

  1. omg. you have lost your mind. what's next? a minivan?

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  2. I seriously love mom jeans. My mom jeans are a little different than mom jeans of previous generations, but they have all the characteristics of a true mom jean. And yes, you know I want a minivan! Minivans are practical. "Oh, friend, need me to pick up H from school? No problem, I've got the mini."

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