Birthday Parties, Schmirthday Parties

It's that time of year again.  Time to start planning Luke's birthday party.  This used to be something I really looked forward to.   


Since I had kids, I have had my eyes opened to a new world of party madness for the 1-5 year old set.  The "Keeping up with the Jones'" mentality is illustrated no where better than in children's birthday parties.   Here is the new check list for a 'socially acceptable' birthday party.  If you aren't doing these things, you might as well just post a big sign on your kid that says, 'My family is poor and they don't love me."


Theme.  You must have a theme.  Princessess, Cars, Mickey Mouse, Tractors, Hello Kitty...Apparently "Happy Birthday" is no longer a theme. 

Fantastic location.  Examples: gymnastics center, cruise ship, Chuck E. Cheese, a museum, hotel banquet room, swimming pool, Disney World, etc.  Having your party at home?  Hmmmm....how quaint.  (My husband would probably prefer a location party, just to avoid the cleaning frenzy that is required before hosting a party at home.  However, the cheapness of our house always wins.)

Coordinating supplies This includes, but is not limited to invitations, plates, napkins, decorations, table clothes, confetti, cups, banner, balloons....the sky is the limit.  Really good parents even get these items personalized. 

Coordinating cake.  The cake is still the most pure form of the child's birthday celebration.  I personally, enjoy making my kid's birthday cakes.  They may not be pretty, but I like doing it. 

Organized games.  If you Google something like 'Cars party games' you will be MORTIFIED at how elaborate some of these parties are.  I came across one mom who started building props for the  games six months before the actual party!  She worked on painting and constructing every weekend for six months.  And seemed really proud of it.  Ugh.  Maybe as kids get a little older structure is good, but for my little ones, no one ever wants to do the 'activities' I have planned.  Maybe I just plan crappy activites.  Or maybe if I picked a cooler location activities aren't an issue.
If I remember correctly, at Luke's 3rd birthday party, most of the kids played on a dirt mound behind our house for about four hours.  Or how about this?  How about we can play with the thousands of dollars worth of toys in our house?  Small children don't want to be told what to do....other people's toys are usually interesting enough. 

Full meal. This full meal must be able to be enjoyed by children and parents alike, otherwise you have to have two meals.  Luckily, you can still get away with pizza. 

Supercute Birthday Shirt/Outfit. This shirt/outfit can acceptably be purchased at Gymboree or from Carter's as long as it says "Birthday Girl" or "I'm Three Today."  Really good parents obviously order these outfits from etsy or a boutique and have them personalized.  (guilty.)

Treat Bags.  This one really gets me.  Who decided the best way to show little Tommy you appreciate him coming to your party was by giving him a bag of crap?  Not to mention environmentally irresponsible.  How about a plastic frog, plastic maze, a pad of paper, an eraser and a pencil?  I have been told this idea came about to make it easier for the child not getting presents to feel like he left with something.  Ummm....how about he got some cake and to play with his friends?  Isn't being the one who gets the presents part of what makes birthdays special?  I don't think teaching your kid it's just not their turn to get presents is a bad thing.  I mean really, you wouldn't want to pay for 20 kids to eat pizza and play at Chuck E. Cheese and then send them home empty handed.  How rude.   


All this costs more than what we spent on our kids for Christmas!  And Christmas was really over the top! 

In my humble opinion, which I am sure you have enough of today, as long as you do something your child likes to do with people that love them, it's you have given them a good birthday.  Try not to beat yourself up not throwing the party of the century.  There really are still plenty of children in the world that have never had a birthday party.   

Now where did I put that DJ's phone number?